


Sweven

by Shedim



Category: Bleach
Genre: AU where my fav are evil, Alternative Universe - Underground world, BAMF Kurosaki Ichigo, Bazz-B is so wholesome i am dying, Fem Kurosaki Ichigo, Gen, Grimmjow is a wack job, Ichigo doesn't give a shit, Kurosaki Ichigo-centric, OOC, Orihime is a crazy bitch, Starrk is literally mood, Ulquiorra is just trying to maintain his sanity, psychological shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:34:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29490666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shedim/pseuds/Shedim
Summary: 'It’s funny how people advertise for freedom, yet they control our very breath.'It sounded cooler in my head, but I guess it turned out alright. Honestly? I applaud them for managing to keep me on leash for 3 whole years. That’s some solid determination man.“Stop writing on that damned journal, orange!”“Hey! Don’t get that nasty blood on my paper!!”“You wouldn’t stop, who writes after murdering a random person? Fucking nerd.”“Shut your cake-hole, and clean that bloodied mess dickhead!”“Tch, quit acting like I was the only one stabbing him to death!”“You are a baby, blue. A really tall one”
Relationships: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques/Kurosaki Ichigo, Shihouin Yoruichi/Urahara Kisuke, Ulquiorra Cifer/Inoue Orihime
Kudos: 13





	1. Fuck Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> The idea behind this came from a nightmare that I had. It both freaked me out and stunned me at the same time that as soon as I woke up, I started typing what happened so I wouldn't forget it lmao. Obviously I added a million new thing to the story, but the general idea behind the circus was from my nightmare c:  
> \---  
> Thanks for giving the story a chance!

Saturday 26th, June, year 3 of hell

* * *

My hair is the worst. It has a habit of ruining my life constantly by getting in the way of everything I do. Long hair is not as magical as it is portrayed in the television, it sticks to your sweaty skin, chocks you on a windy day, get tangled whenever you try to zip up your jumper, tiring to wash and gets _everywhere_ – literally. I would have cut it out in a heartbeat if I could. It is my dream to do so, a short-term one, but still a dream, nonetheless. The stupid leader of our “merry” band likes long hair, which -in my humble opinion- is hypocritical since her hair stops just under her ears. Though I suppose it is wrong to say that “she” likes long hair, it’s her customers that are quite fond of it, and she wants to please those knobs, so whatever, she is still a snake who would sell her sister’s body for the sake of a few golden coins. I am not exaggerating, her sister’s name is Cirucci, she is one of us.

It always baffled me how all those sperm-bags like the same type. You know, long hair, pretty face, no mind of their own, worshiping the XY gender, and a very _very_ plain personality. So, all the girls of the traveling circus ‘Malefic’, undergo a certain _training_ to fit the mould of the most desired type of our customers. To outsiders, we are just a bunch of female trapeze performers with skimpy tribal outfits, but in reality, we are just pigs that people of a high calibre get to buy with a hefty amount of gold. We are nothing but raw slightly more intelligent animals. ‘ _Below dirt_ ’. They make a point of reminding us of it whenever they get the chance to.

Our leader, Luppi Antenor, is the most detestable person I ever had the unfortune to meet. She cares for nothing but money and how she looks. She has the whole of Manila Smokey Mountain compressed inside of her to act as a heart. Luppi might be easy on the eye, but nothing else about her is pleasant. She snatches young children from the street and teach them all about the line of work, so when they reach the age of 10, she tosses them to start working for older wealthy men as their personal toys. Some even get to be imported outside the country if the buyer was a foreigner.

Her cruel acts do not end there, believe me, it gets even worse. Luppi is a trained torturer, or so she prides herself to be. Nothing escapes her watchful eyes, and no rumour get passed her ears, she keeps track of everything and everyone. And as much as that is her strength, it is also her weakness, as she is extremely wary and cautious. And even though she trusts no-one and absolutely hates to listen about her fellow supreme leaders, talks about the higher ups reach her constantly, whether it’s from her workers or costumers, which eventually feeds her fear of said leaders even more. It became a forbidden rule to not even utter the name of the **Supremes** in front of Luppi. It _‘brings bad luck’_ She once said. But we all know the truth that she desperately tries to hide from the very people who she practically lives with and ironically call _‘daughters’_. It makes her an easy target for those who lived with her enough to see the fear embedded within her very core, so there is that.

It’s truly fascinating how I am wasting precious paper on disgusting thoughts. Anyways, I wanted to write about what happened this week, because insomnia decided that I am getting no sleep today, so I have nothing better to do than write, I guess. Fuck insomnia.

Nothing was really out of the ordinary the first couple of days, it was the same routine, every day was like the day before it. Nothing more, nothing less. Wake up, pretty up, attract some snob with the innocent-girl act, sell them the company’s original drug ‘ **Esp-x10da** ’, make them your dog with _whatever_ method you like, return to base, sleep and repeat. It was normal, or at least what we describe as normal. However, what happened that Tuesday got my blood pumping big time. One of the 10 Supremes showed up out of the blue. It was the 4th supreme with his girl clinging to his side like a parasite.

He was not as impressive as the others. With all his 1.6 meters and emo-esque appearance. The only memorable features was the black hair that hung just above his relaxed shoulders, and the big green eyes that was locked on Luppi watching her every move with a look that screamed ‘This is beyond boring’. His girl on the other hand, looked above thrilled. She was all smiles and rosy cheeks, with her long-burnt orange hair flowing as she swayed her hips from side to side. She looked my way and smiled sweetly, yet her eyes sent daggers at me. I grinned, how foolish. A pretty face with an ugly personality, talk about unoriginal. She allowed him to untangle her limbs from around himself, and as she made her way to me, I saw the 4th Supreme saunter to where Luppi was standing a bit to the back.

“I think I really scored this time; don’t you think Kurosaki~?”

“I see you are as scummy as ever, huh Inoue?”

She laughed combing her fingers through her hair.

“I am his first ever girlfriend; can you believe that? He said he never dated because none impressed him, but apparently, I did when I came by~. ‘I’ll stay by your side for all eternity’ he said.”

“How cute.”

“Right?! He also said that he’d kill for me~!”

“Useless claim. He murders people on daily basis.”

“Yes, but he’d do it for me Ku-ro-sa-ki~! For me! its **love**.”

I shrugged having nothing more to say, Inoue is not my friend, giving her advice would leave no dent on that stone mind of hers. And who am I to even give advice? It’s not like I have an ounce of experience in the love department, or in the whole emotion department. With her loud, overly enthusiastic, manipulative personality and his reserved, apathetic, deceptive self. I suppose they do fit each other quite well.

Though Inoue is a certified nut case, she never does things without an ulterior motive. She always has a plan and a target in mind. So, her coming to me specifically even though she hates my very existence with every fibre of her being is alarming, also considering the fact that she tried stabbing my eye a handful of times in the past and tried chocking me in my sleep 3 times in a row. Truly a friend worthy of trust.

“I love you, Kurosaki. And you see, I love bathing in my lovers blood~. It gives me such a delicious feeling of ecstasy uwu~.”

Rolling my eyes, I simply questioned Ulquiorra’s sanity, and quietly prayed for his poor tainted soul that will for sure get tangled with one hell of a crazy bitch.

“Get to the point.”

“As serious as ever, lovely Kurosaki~. Thing are going well now, so I simply ask for your mouth to remain shut, or else I will bathe in your blood whether you like it or not, hehe~. Be careful of who you play with~.”

“Ah, so that’s what this is all about huh? Being a scaredy cat is a big no-no in the Malefic company, especially with you sleeping with one of the Supremes. Are you that afraid I would leak information about your past?”

Hearing her teeth clinking together gave me a dose of smugness I didn’t know I even possessed. Grinning, I continued.

“Just because you are with a supreme now, doesn’t mean they trust you anymore than they did before. To them, you are Ulquiorra’s bitch, that’s it, nothing more nothing less. But me? I am a valuable asset. Haven’t you asked yourself why they didn’t sell me yet? I’ve been here for 3 whole years, and yet they refuse to let me go. You know why?”

Leaning into her ears, I whispered.

“Because I was especially sought after by the number one himself. So no, you are the one who gotta be careful who to play with, sweetie pie~.”

The colour drained from her skin, she looked at me with such a terrified expression that I couldn’t help but laugh. I am enjoying the fear on her facial expression a bit too much to my liking. I blink, and suddenly see her pinned on the dirty metallic floor under me. My left-hand tightening around her slender neck, she kicks and squirms in a futile effort to escape my grip. My right hand picks a knife that just happened to be on the floor, and I start carving thin line on her neck painting her light complexion a crimson red. The sight of blood gushing out of her intrigues me, its like I am under the influence of a drug, I keep cutting and cutting. Her scratchy broken noise sends a shudder down my spine, and the absolute terror in her eyes become my favourite sight. I blink once again to reality; a sudden burst of disappointment washes over me. What was that? A vision? A desire? Wait, no, I am not a murderer like Luppi. Burry those nasty feelings, Ichigo, Burry them!

Shaking my head, I recall my earlier thought about my threat to her. What I said wasn’t a complete lie, I truly was sought out by the first supreme. But it doesn’t mean that I am under his protection, it just means that they prefer to keep me close lest I open my mouth to someone else. They will shut me up for good if they have to, but they say it will be a loss if I die this early on. Though, she doesn’t need to know that, does she? UwU~. Yuck.

That was the only interesting thing about last week, of course I didn’t count the stupid nightmares that kept plaguing me days after my weird daydream. It was just a bunch of non-sense. Killing people is nothing new to me, but I don’t commit the act. It just seems so messy, and I hate making a mess.

Surprisingly, the dreams stopped soon after the third night. I guess my mind got tired of playing the same trick every day. Oh well, it seems like insomnia is kissing me goodbye now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to check this out!


	2. Happy Birthday To Me

Thursday 15th, July, year 3 of hell

* * *

A wise man once said _“The real truth is .. I’m tired of eating stuff like toast and jam for breakfast! What I really want .. is to eat steak for breakfast every morning!”_.

Its funny how people treat their birthday as a special day. It doesn’t feel that way to me. I was born 21 years ago, today. And frankly, I don’t feel anything new happening. The only different thing is that people at my work/slavery house/shit hole are treating me a little more meaner, sounding firmer, yelling a bit louder. They say that I am supposed to be mature now, that I should stop smiling in front of the mirror or write useless poems, they say that adulthood is going to be even harder, and that dreams are childish and meaningless. They say that I should tie the knot with a wealthy man, preferably old so he could drop and wither away. _‘Don’t be happy, it is not for people like you.’_ They said. So, I smiled and replied, _‘Don’t you worry, I never was anyways.’_

Birthday is just a normal day, I was born today, so what? My parents didn’t call, nor did my sisters. But its fine, they probably forgot, like last year, or the year before that, or the year before that too. I did give them my new phone number a few years back, but maybe my number was lost or something. Maybe they just felt uncomfortable contacting me after all this time, or perhaps embarrassed because I dropped out of school and decided to live in another city. They have a reason to not call, of course they do, I am their family after all, their flesh and blood. _Family always **trusts** , always **forgives**._

Today is not only my birthday, it is also the day we open our circus to the public. We open it 5 times a year. On January, May, July, October, and November. Our schedule is usually packed during these months, between juggling actual trapeze training and the _usual_ assigned missions and jobs, it can get quite tricky. Me, Tatsuki, Rinko, and Mahana are the trapeze performers, whereas Satoda, Michiru and Chizuru are the acrobats, with Aiko being the only magician and Ryo the only animal tamer. We won’t have a dance show this time, we are still waiting on new dancers since the old ones have all been sold to someone or another.

Because today is the opening day, a couple of the high ups are going to show up, maybe a supreme or two. But the thing I am looking forward to, is Luppi’s temper tantrum that she throws at every opening. Its expected since she is the newest supreme and all. They’ve been giving her shit for it. Even though she’s been new for like 5 years now.

I tensed at the feeling of a calloused hand on my bare shoulder, and with a quick reflex I grabbed the foreign wrist tightly and kicked the person behind me in the nether region. A crack could be heard as the victim of my kick stumbled back and removed his wrist from my grip forcefully. I smiled in triumph and turned around to take a look. Oh boy .. Of course, its him. It just had to be, with my shitty luck, or lack of.

Cayote Starrk, otherwise known as ‘the bane of my existence’. The fucker chased me all across the country because of some gossip that I just happened to hear. By accident. Or not. But whatever, it’s stupid, running after a 16-year-old for 2 years straight. So damn determined for someone who is supposed to be lazy as fuck.

Thing is, for some strange reason, he took pity on me -he said he liked me, but that can’t be true-. Said I remind him of his little sister, which is absurd. She is a little bugger who is level 100 in being an annoyance, me on the other -while not being a saint- I am at most level 57. There is definitely room for improvement.

“Wha’sup?”

“Is that all you have to say after kicking me?”

“Do you want me to kiss your ouchie away?”

Wait, why is his face looking more disgusted than usual? Is he that surprised that I am teasing him? But that doesn’t make any sense. I always tease him regardless of his position as my superior. I don’t recall saying anything more offensive than usual. What happened then? Maybe he is embarrassed because I said I’d kiss his .. Oh, what the fuck did I suggest!? I just kicked his nuts and then said I’d kiss the- .. UGH! Stupid mouth, stupid brain! That’s so embarrassing that I’m considering killing myself now. I’m drowning in shame and overflowing with self-pity. Stop the non-sense thoughts, brain! As if I would kill myself after enduring this fucking hell hole for years! I much such a drama queen .. ugh ..

“It’s a fucking joke okay? Sue me!”

“Relax. It just .. surprised me, that’s all.”

We just stood there, staring at each other with all the awkwardness in the world compressed in the tiny dressing room. I felt my eyebrow twitch in irritation just as I remembered where we are.

“Why are you in my dressing room?”

“I knocked. Didn’t hear a respond, so I came in.”

“What the hell? Why would you enter without a permission??”

He had the audacity to shrug his shoulders in nonchalance. Apparently, he didn’t think that I might’ve been naked or something, he just waltzed in like he owned the place… He kinda does, but it doesn’t mean that he can just come in unannounced like that! He said he knocked, but that doesn’t give him the right to- AHHHHH! This is giving me a headache. I can’t even think properly, my mind is just too crowded. Wait, serious question, can someone get aneurysm from stress or anger? Because if yes then Starrk would’ve been the one to kill me without having to tou- fuck, I am thinking too much, again.

“Just .. what do you want?”

“I came to see how you are doing.”

“That’s it..? Look, I don’t know if you’ve been living under a rock like fucking Patrick, but there is something called texting, you know it? Or do I have to spell it to you?”

I should probably tune down my rude behavior, its kinda getting out of hand and I feel that it might be a bit .. too much. But fuck, I like the freedom it gives me, it’s like I can talk my mind without constraint, and without the usual rules that tie me down. We both know that it gives me a breath of fresh air talking freely like that, it’s as though I release all the pent-up aggression of the previous weeks whenever I talk to him. I respect him greatly, and he knows that, he also doesn’t give a crap about how _I_ talk to him as long as I actually talk. It’s a small victory, talking freely I mean. But it fills me with so much warmth and it feels as if I could smile genuinely for once. I don’t.

“Let me rephrase that. Ahem, I came to wish you a happy birthday. And I know that I could’ve texted you, but it just felt right to do it in person.”

Umm, okay that is .. something. This is the first time in years that someone wished me a happy birthday. It was for lack of better words- sappy. Starrk never really was the emotional type, always preferring logic over emotions, and I like him better that way. So for him to go out of his way just to say two meaningless words was .. heart wrenching. I’ve been expecting it from a family member. Not some stranger. Is this his way of showing me his pity? To remind me that no-one cares about me except him? A stranger? Is it a new method to trick me into joining permanently? Like brainwashing me with a show off kindness? No, don’t think, don’t think, _but it’s a lie_ \- no! Starrk is nice, he wouldn’t do that. If he wanted me to join them then he would’ve done it by force. They do that shit all the time. Don’t think, don’t think. White paper, white paper, white paper, whit-

A gasp. The calloused hand touched my shoulder again, I looked up, it was Starrk, with his annoyingly worried gaze. He titled his head to the side slightly in what could only be apprehension.

“You were overthinking.”

I took a deep breath. His interruption helped redirect my thoughts to other things, like .. how the hell did he know my birthday? I never mentioned it to him, not even once. I am sure of it. So I slapped his hands away from me and looked at him with my best scowl.

“How did you know about my birthday?”

My question seemed to ease his worry away, because he just sighed with a small smile and ruffled his short wavy hair with one hand. He gave me his back and walked away.

“HEY! Answer me bastard!”

He didn’t stop, just kept walking away towards the entrance to the show tent perhaps, giving me no answer. I exhaled gently, trying to release the heavy thoughts with the air. It didn’t work like I hoped it would. But at least I was able to put on a smile.

That encounter was interesting. But I shouldn’t let it distract me anymore than it already did. So I quickly brushed my hair, thankful that I already straightened it yesterday and it was still okay- not perfect, but presentable at least.

However, make up was and still is the worst part of my day, I don’t like wearing it. It makes my skin blotchy and red afterwards, and it itches a lot. But it’s a necessity, or so Luppi says. So I do put it on although a bit forcefully. I’ve become quite capable after many shows, so it was a piece of cake.

Thoughts about Starrk and my family would have to wait. People are waiting, and if I slip up then there is no stopping Luppi’s anger. She might go so far as to murder someone from frustration. I’ve seen it happen before. Its not pretty.

With a clearer head, I looked at the mirror and couldn’t help but grimace at my reflection.

Sigh. Time to work.

Happy birthday to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Denji so much, .. sigh  
> \--  
> "White paper" is a technique my dad taught me. He said to repeat it like a mantra whenever I think too much so that I force my brain to think of a 'white paper' , or in other words, to think of nothing, which will hopefully helping calm my overcrowded brain :)


	3. Eighth Wonder

Friday 16th, July, year 3 of hell

* * *

Yesterday was long, way too long to be written only last night. So, tonight is going to be the other part of it, while also writing today’s parts. Because for some reason, the universe decided that I would be having 2 eventful days in a row. That’s tiring for my brain, it’s too much drama for me. Therefore, I am spending the whole night writing about my shitty life because why not? No sleeping today for me!

Because I don’t know where to begin, I would like to say -write- that I think the circus went as well as it could go. Nothing was out of the ordinary except from the blatant lingering glances of one of the many people sitting on the middle bleacher. The figure wore a very deep artichoke hood that covered their entire body. I shrugged it off humouring myself by thinking the person is an informant sent from a rival mafia group that got a whiff of some of the information that I withhold. Huh, interesting thought if I do say so myself. It’d be pretty bad if that were true, but the worst-case scenario would be if it turns out that the figure is an assassin or something like that. _“Nothing is true, everything is permitted.”_ The figure would say before killing me. I smiled thoughtfully; my mind can be such a nerd sometimes.

Pushing away those thoughts, I noticed more fleeting looks being thrown my way. It wasn’t exactly _on_ _me_ like the hooded mystery, it was more or less just looks of bewilderment and awe at the performance as a whole. A supreme, no ... 2 supremes, the 1st and the 7th with their respectful companions. The 7th was concerning. I never got the chance to meet him properly, so all the information I have on him are based on rumours. He is a mystery. He doesn’t really reply to anyone who talks to him, just stares with distant eyes as if he is not living in the same world as us. Maybe he doesn’t. Or maybe he does. Who even knows at this point? But I heard from Starrk that he have some childish traits, like how he always run around and seem to have an endless amount of energy, or how he laughs at the tiniest thing such as seeing a cicada for the first time, or how his innocence is beyond belief. Overall, he seem like a pleasant person to be around, a bit annoying perhaps, but still better than others. Still, he seems to thrive in loneliness where no one get to bother him or interrupt his wild imagination.

The 7th presence wasn’t as surprising as Inoue’s. She was sitting to the back, watching our performance while shouting happily and holding a large poster with “TATS FOR WINS” written on it. It was stupid, the only win we could ever hope for is to not get killed, or worse. Because yes, there are things worse than getting killed. Everyone here knows that. But I suppose Inoue wants everyone to face _‘that of which is beyond death’_ as she put it. Well, everyone except Tatsuki because they are besties or something equally disgusting like that.

Anyways, the circus was finally ready to close. Deals have been made, and ‘ _things’_ have been sold. So, all in all, a pretty good day if I say so myself. But the night is still young, and while everyone is wrapping up their business, I haven’t started mine. There is still a fucker who will have to answer me. But before that, I want to talk to the 7th and give him a shot. Maybe he will give ma shot himself.

So, I walked confidently with my tribal beady necklace clattering against each other. My hair was sticking to my bare back, and a bunch of stray strands were flying in every direction. But I didn’t find it in myself to care. I put on a gentle smile as I walked closer. He was distracted with a bug on a tree branch, not looking at my direction. Which wasn’t a bad thing, since it gave me some more time to think about how I should approach him in a way that might get him to react.

“Wonderweiss?”

He turned to my direction and just … stared. It wasn’t something that I didn’t expect, but I can see why people thought of it as unnerving and odd. I felt myself slipping back into the usual scowl but forced myself to keep the smile on my face. He didn’t say anything, waiting for me to elaborate. Or that’s what I wanted it to be.

“Can I call you Wo-chan? I think its a cute name, and it fits you better, don’t you think?”

No response. He just turned around looking at the bug.

“Alright, I’ll take that as yes … Hey! No! Don’t touch it! This is a tussock moth caterpillar. Its pretty common in this area. Don’t touch it though, it causes rashes and its very painful.”

He turned around, again. Staring at me closely. He let out a whine. And I smiled. That’s a win for sure.

“I can put it in a glass jar If you like it so much.”

His eyes never left mine, he just looked again and slowly nodded.

“I’m pretty sure there are containers in Luppi’s room.”

Taking a risk, I leaned in and whispered.

“She’s a witch. Keeping shady stuff in a jar.”

He raised his hands to his mouth trying to stifle a giggle. Success!

“Wait here.”

I held both ends of my sarong and tied it into a mid-thigh pants. I looked at him and smiled. Then took off running to where I saw the lazy bastard last. He was at the private area that were meant for important visitors. His sister, Lilynette, was jumping around him and shouting non-sense. When I reached his side, I pulled at his ears harshly and glared at him ferociously ignoring his whispered ouches and Lily’s loud laughter.

“This is for ignoring me earlier.”

“That’s evil. Leave my ear alone Ichigo.”

“Not until you distract Luppi for like, ten minutes.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“I’m pretty sure you are going to do something … bad.”

“You do ‘bad’ things all the time. It’s a small sacrifice for the greater good, believe me.”

“I find that hard to do, especially with that evil glint in your eyes.”

“Nope, no glint. Just a pair of beautiful eyes.”

“No.”

“No that there is a glint or no that my eyes are ugly?”

“Tell me what you will do.”

“Oh my god you are annoying, I am just going to steal something! That’s it.”

“Just do it you lazy bum!”

Lilynette suddenly appeared beside him and pinched his other ear roughly.

“FINE!”

Laughing, I turned to Lily and gave her wink as we both let him go at the same time. He only looked somewhat irritated, so that was a relief. And with that, they both left to where I assume Luppi is, leaving me alone in the private section. Smiling deviously, I jogged to the private quarters where we live, and paced to the desired room.

With Luppi eliminated from the picture, it would be pretty easy to enter unnoticed since she doesn’t bother with installing cameras and whatnot.

And just like that, I got a hold of a one of the glass jars that the witch like to keep around. Smiling, I ran back to where I left the 7th by the large spruce tree where the bugs hang out.

“I am back!”

He turned around to stare at me with … excitement? I don’t know, so I ignored it and plucked out the small branch where the bug was sitting - standing? - and put it in the jar, decorating it with more leaves and tiny spruces to make a miniature habitat for the small caterpillar. I handed him the jar after closing the lid and making various holes on it to ensure that it doesn’t die from lack of air.

“Here you go Wo-chan! Make sure to renew the leaves and spruces so it doesn’t starve.”

_Just looking at his smile, I figured out what the eighth wonder is._

* * *

I never realized how alarming it is being stared at when asleep until it happened to me. Though I didn’t open my eyes, I felt such an intense stare when I came into consciousness. Pulling a knife from under my pillow, I stood up quickly completely ready and ignoring the pounding headache due to the fast movement.

In front of me stood the same hooded figure from yesterday looking at me from under the hood. They were relaxed against the window with arms crossed against their chest and 2 guns hoisted on their hip. There was no sign of fear or even slight uncertainty in their posture. They were confident. So confident that they are not even holding their gun, they didn’t even flinch when I pulled out the knife. Not even a twitch.

How did they get in? Even though we don’t have official security guards, I am pretty sure some of the **Forces** stayed over from last night. Sure, they are not as strong as the supremes, but they still are a force to be reckoned with, hence the name.

Just who is this person? Thinking that they can just waltzed their way into my room without any regard to privacy? What the hell? Was yesterday’s theory really true? They really are an assassin? But what mafia? And how did they find me in the first place? I hide my tracks really well when I go out in a mission. The **Sovereign** himself gave me his words that I will be protected. Did he go back on his words? No, it must be someone else. I am pretty sure it was an inside person that purposely sold me out to an outsider. Who is it? Who is it? _Who is it?_

Though my mind was as crowded as ever, I still kept my eye open and attentive to any movement the hooded person might attempt to do. They didn’t do anything. Just stood there, like a fucking statue.

My heart is pounding. My blood is boiling. Hunger. _Hunger_. Clicking my tongue, I scattered away the stupid thoughts. I am not going to continue standing in my room with a suspected assassin. So, I lunged at them with my dagger raised in the air. I aimed for their covered neck, and just when I was so close to separating away their head from their body, they held my wrist and kicked my stomach so hard I felt like vomiting what little I ate at yesterday’s dinner.

I smirked as I regained my balance, though I didn’t succeed in my murder attempt, I was still able to cut a little from the upper part of their hood. It wasn’t exactly a victory, but at least I might be able to identify the identity of the person with their hair colour alone. That will be a victory if I already knew the person, it would prove worthless if I didn’t.

A pink tuft of hair poked from underneath the clean cut. Pictures of the past came running back to me. Pink, pink, pink. Everywhere is pink. Everything is pink. I feel so overwhelmed. Hunger is gone. I want to sleep. I can’t. But I want to. Can I sleep? Pink is safe. Safe. Sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I am in love with Wo-chan. He is just so precious .. Ahh


	4. Another

Sunday 19th July, Year 3 of hell

* * *

Everything had stopped being fun ever since I decided to write a journal to pass time. It seems like my life had become hectic and full of events that I am getting a headache just thinking about it. To be honest? I would rather live in the world of dragons where I get to ride one of these bad boys to wherever I want, whenever I want. Maybe then I would have befriended a pretty, orange -yes orange- dragonette that reciprocate my love. Maybe then I would have escaped my problems and lived-in solitude away from people that pollute my mind. Heh, with my shitty personality it would have been impossible to run away, because for some reason it would go against my code of slamming head-on in everything. Its funny in a way, how I still hang on my morals -or what remains of it anyways- like a lifeline refusing a change. I hate changes, I hate changing how I look, how I behave, what I eat, what I do. An ugly personality with an even uglier perspective of life, yet I still live on stubbornly like a cockroach that refuses to die.

Waking up after 3 days to a white room gave me the creeps. My first immediate thought was that I’ve been caught and put in a fucking asylum with all the loonies. It wouldn’t be a necessarily bad thing, since apparently, I am insane enough to be admitted there which is infinitely better than being stuck in jail. Wait, is it better? I never went to jail before, but I am pretty sure the confinement cell parameter is close to the one I am in, though I don’t think they have comfy beds in prison. Hmm, I think food in the asylum will be better, and at least I won’t have to interacts with other nutcases. I heard that prisoners get to meet each other and stuff, sounds horrible but I am pretty relieved I am here. AHHHH. Stop thinking about random things!! I am in an unknown territory and thoughts of prison vs asylum still have the nerve to plague me! Seriously! What a hopeless brain I have! UGH. I would really have to taste the food here be- NO, STOP THIS.

The door opened -thankfully- interrupting the inner battle with my brain and making me turn my head to that direction. Again, the first thing I noted was the bright pink hair that stood proudly atop the person’s head in a modern mohawk. I recognized the person very quickly. How could I not with those sharp, equally pink eyes and tanned complexion? To others, he is Bazz-B, or rarely -like really, really fucking rarely to the point that no one knows it exist except a few select group of people which is just 2 others alongside me- Bazzard Black. To me he is kirby, pink bastard, flamingo, flower head, cotton brain, and lastly, … **saviour**. Though, the last moniker is not something I ever said out loud.

He smiled to me, his teeth shining like fucking pearls and his eyes pressed tightly in delight. His face muscles are stretching so much that I am sure it hurt. But his expression didn’t fall, instead, it morphed into a wide closed-mouth smile, his eyes still closed, but he was still able to navigate his body to march to where I was sitting on the bed and suddenly throwing himself at me. His eyes opened before he made contact with my body, and just for a brief moment I saw a tinge of sadness in his bright pinkish eyes before he wrapped his arms around my middle, nuzzling my neck.

“Hi.”

He whispered. And I couldn’t help but wonder about how many years has it been since I’ve seen his smile. Since I’ve heard his voice. Or since I’ve felt his body pressed against mine assuredly.

“Hey.”

Am I smiling? I am pretty sure I am. I can feel the strain on my muscles from the action itself. For a minute, I actually allowed myself to smile, to even let out a giggle. A giggle for goodness sake! I don’t giggle, but it’s fine this time, just this once. He’s familiar, he's safe, he's a friend, a best friend, a brother, a _kindred soul_.

He pulls back just enough for me to still be in his embrace. He stares at me still smiling, ruffling my hair affectionately then slowly moves to sit beside me with one arm draped sloppily on my shoulders. He looks away for a minute to gather himself -or that’s what I think he is doing-. Looking at the lightly shaved side of his head, I couldn’t help but notice a scar just under his ears.

My smile fades as horrid memories come rushing in.

* * *

At the ripened age of 16, I was tossed in one of the rooms and told to wait. I didn’t understand where I was or what was happening, it was the first time I was allowed to leave the house Luppi kept me in. And like the naïve girl I was, I wandered the room touching the walls, the floor, the bare ugly bed. It didn’t impress me, but I thought that was her punishment, to keep me alone and isolated. And I laughed. It wasn’t until the door opened that I stopped staring at the almost empty room. The person who entered was a tall lean man with a beautiful face. Pale complexion. Dark hair cut in a mullet with a loose strand falling on his straight nose. A light stubble adorning his chin. And a very inviting set of brown eyes. I was infatuated with him. Bells rang in my ears, and there he was, standing before me, dressed in a white suit. He extended his arm to me, smiling, and I was so stumped at how even more beautiful he is when smiling. I blinked and suddenly there was no bells, and no smiles. He was still standing at the now closed door, naked. I grimaced.

He stalked to me, walking slowly as I tried erasing the picture of his bare penis from my brain. I kept watching him without moving from my place. The moon shone bright from the window behind me, and his eyes looked even prettier under the milky glow. I smiled foolishly, eagerly waiting for him to talk to me. To tell me that we can run away together. That he would protect me. That he would love my hair, my breath, my nose, my legs, and everything in between. I drowned in my pink dreams of a happy-ever-after with a man I just met. A man that was standing naked in front of me.

The thought of that shook me out of my haze. He was standing close, way too close for my liking. I kept my smile and moved backward ready to converse with what I believed would be my saviour.

A rough hand grasped my wrist hard enough that I was sure it would bruise at that exact moment. I looked at him confused and ready to voice out my questions. But he was busy looking at my lips. And in the next moment I was pushed against the wall with foreign lips on mine. I was so stunned that I didn’t realize what happened until I felt his teeth clanking to mine harshly. I felt happy. Thinking that for sure this meant he would help me now. Afterall, every prince kissed their princess at the end of the film.

He kept kissing me. Biting roughly and drawing blood from my bruised lips. I was out of breath, but he didn’t care. His hands wandered off to my blue sundress tearing the fabric easily. Alarm sirens wailed in my head as red flags were raised. And as if a switch were turned on, I kicked him away from me and ran to the door ignoring the way my dress dragged behind me half clinging to my shoulder. The same hand clasped my ankle pulling me backwards. I screamed and kept digging my heel on his hand trying desperately to shake him off. He didn’t budge.

I felt myself being yanked towards him. My nose hitting the floor in the process. He held my hip in a bruising grip and tossed me to the bed as if I weigh nothing. My breath quickened. My heart threatened to jump out of my chest. My lips trembling. My hands started to sweat. Everything in me was unsteady and unbalanced as he hovered above me. He looked at me and smiled. A sweet smile that utterly terrified me. He pulled the rest pieces of fabric that covered my body and let out a laugh as I yelled, shouted, _begged_ , for him to stop. I chanted _‘No’_ over and over and over again like a mantra. But he didn’t stop. Instead, he whispered praise and assurance. And just when I thought that maybe it will be alright, that maybe what he says is maybe, _maybe_ true, I heard a gruff voice and another pair of footsteps near me, and another, and another. And then everything went to hell. 

With every touch, the hope disappeared. With every thrust, the pain intensified. It was as if someone was pulling the remnant soul from my toes in an agonizingly slow pace. I choked on my breath. My head is spinning. My body is aching. My nose is bleeding. Everything is numb. Everything is slow. Blackness filled my vision as heat pooled my insides. The constant noise of slapping skin-against-skin stopped as the voice of my own heartbeat rose in my ears. A single tear dropped, and then I slipped to nothingness.

..

Opening my eyes, I found myself alone in bed, soaking in blood. Confusion washed over me. Is it over? Am I still alive? Or is this how I die? Alone and torn and drenched in what could only be my own blood. I swallowed, feeling a thick weight in my throat. I tried moving my limbs. But nothing moved. Panic. Pain. White paper, white paper. Pain. White paper.

The feeling of shame and embarrassment overwhelmed my senses. I felt pathetic and weak. Like a broken doll that was casted aside in the dumpster. Like a used Kleenex. A torn canvas. An empty shell.

There was nothing I could do. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t even cry. Pain. Pain. Everything hurts, everything aches. There was nothing to do. Nothing I can do. Nothing to fix me. Nothing to repair me. Nothing to put me back together. Nothing. There was nothing.

_I want to die._

The noise of the only window opening distracted me from my thoughts. But I didn’t have enough pain tolerance to force my sore neck to turn. The noise stopped after a while and was replaced by the sound of stepping coming closer to the bed, where I was. Another? Another person to toss me around? Another to rip my body? Another to hurt me? Another to make me wish death? Another?

I can feel my eyes burning, with tears or sweat or blood. I don’t know, and frankly I don’t care. If there is another then I am really dead. I will die for real this time. I can’t keep up. I can’t do this. I can’t continue grasping the threads of living. I can’t.

There was nothing. No pulling hair. No pinching skin. No biting neck. No licking shoulders. Nothing. There was nothing of this sort. Just a feeling of a gentle cotton caresses on my nose. I opened my eyes and was ingulfed with pink. Pink hair. Pink eyes. Pink cheeks.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you. My name is Bazz. I am like you, another tool.”

* * *

“Hey! You just woke up after 3 days! Don’t sleep again! Ichigo!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it."  
> \- Molière


	5. 191cm

Monday 20th July, year 3 of hell

* * *

“Wake up, Neo.”

That was the first sentence I heard waking up. Now that I think of it, wouldn’t it be weird if we are not actually living in the real world? Like, what if we are currently living in a reality simulation? A reality that evil robots created? You know, robots with artificial intelligence or what not. That would be super cool! Imagine that you lived your whole life thinking ‘this is real’ and then suddenly realize that you are actually living in a fake reality inside a computer. That will make me laugh so hard I’d puke. No, quantum objects that move through dimension or whatever doesn’t interest me, so I don’t care if what you are saying makes sense or not Physics, but don’t try to force your opinion on me using big words, I think this theory is completely plausible, and that’s my decision. Fuck you Physics, and fuck your logical reasoning, stay away from me and my brain you freak!

“Who are you arguing with this time?”

“Why do you assume that there is an argument?”

“When were you not in some kind of an argument with something?”

I – that’s a fair point actually.

“Do you have any proof of that?”

“Why are we talking in questions? That’s annoying. And to answer your question, yes I do. Remember when I asked what’s wrong when you were slightly squinting your left eye randomly and you told me that you were arguing with an inverted panda? I paid enough attention to your facial expressions throughout the time we spent together to know that you always do that when you are arguing with that weirdo brain of yours. And you were totally squinting your eye a few seconds ago.”

Sigh. How did he even remember such a minor thing?

“Danpa is what you call an inverted panda, cotton brain.”

“Same thing.”

“Not. Anyways, where are we?”

“My place.”

I waited a few minutes for him to elaborate, but he never did. He just kept staring at the wall as if he were avoiding my gaze. It’s weird for him to suddenly go all quiet. He is usually a chatter box; nothing ever succeed in stopping his rants and blabbering. But for some reason, he is a lot more reserved. Pink bastard is confident and outspoken and _dumb_ , he literally says whatever comes to his mind without a regard to who he is speaking to. He is not dumb as in stupid, but just … so … virtuous? Or as virtuous as one can be in the world we live in. He is a genuinely good person, but maybe my judgement is wrong sense the line between good and bad is impossibly blurry. Even though he is definitely not a saint, he still possess a heart made of cotton candy, sweet and light. The only thing I find bothersome about him is the sheer amount of emotion that most times it get so overwhelming and hard to decipher, and it gets especially difficult once he goes all blank. Sigh.

“Are you gonna spill or do I have to choke it out of you?”

He turned to look at me, and I physically felt repulsed by the fake smile he is sporting. Looking at my constipated face, he sighed loudly in exasperation and then proceeded to put a smaller smile. It still looked forced and a bit weird, but I guess it was his best effort, so I decided to be nice and put on my ‘worried scowl’ as he likes to call it.

“Tell me.”

He sighed, again.

“His majesty sent a troop to Japan for scouting. He is planning a massive genocide to completely wipe out **Hygge** … Miraculously, I was the most suited leader for the international squad, and naturally I took the chance and came to check on you.”

“Okay ...? I’m clearly fine, so what’s with the ugly face?”

He didn’t respond, nor did he look relieved. I furrowed my brows, dread slowly seeping in.

“I don’t get why you are telling me this. Your people have business with Hygge, so? The mafia picking a fight with the yakuza is so common these days that I really am not surprised. The aftermath might be horrific but I’m pretty sure I can pull my weight.”

I roughly pat his shoulder before crossing my arms.

“Our main mission is not only acquiring information, but also snatching an informant to act as a double agent inside Malefic.”

“What do you m-”

“Because Malefic is not only controlling Spain’s underground world, but also almost a quarter of Japan’s and is in a constant tug-of-war with Hygge; his majesty wants your people on his good side, and then after all the ruckus to add them to his collection of _‘toys’_ if you know what I mean. An informant is necessary to gain the upper hand on your mafia to get an alliance and later force your leader to submission.”

Huh, a gang fight. Better yet, an _international 3-way_ mafia/yakuza fight. This certainly do explain why he targeted me specifically and why he wore a moldy hood to cover his obnoxious hair so not to reveal himself to me so suddenly lest I get shocked in the middle of the show and fuck things up for the both of us. … So now what? **Syzygy** is initiating a war with Hygge while also dragging Malefic along the way? Is that what the German emperor has been planning from atop his throne miles away from here? Some sort of a revenge? Like a payback thing from what happened 10 years ago? The dude absolutely hates Malefic, and now he is planning to ally with us in order to take down fucking Hygge? That’s bull.

Syzygy consider themselves the saints of Germany. Something like the holy saviours or guardians of the people. They have very strict rules regarding how their members must behave and what not to do. Hygge similarly considers themselves the keepers of evil doers, and basically operates with very harsh regulations. Both organizations have somewhat the same mindset and could be considered ‘angels’ to their countryfolks, they both absolutely hate allying and dealing with organizations that ignore the lives of common people. On the other hand, Malefic is downright evil, with no regards of innocent lives or whatsoever. The people here literally kill because it’s fun, and because torturing others is entertaining. Though I never killed someone before, I do get the urges to do it from time to time, but the tiny remnants of ‘good’ in me clashes with the ‘bad’ thoughts resulting in a shaky equilibrium.

Oh, and let’s not forget that _his majesty_ also wants an informant, and there happen to be one just under their eyes. Fuck my life.

“So, are you taking me to your king?”

“The fuck? My team is hoping to capture _Zangetsu_. Hell, even the king is hoping to capture that night terror. But I’m here to give her information and perhaps hide her from their sight.”

“Aww.”

“Shut it. I am so nervous about the whole ordeal _for_ you. I know you are a badass, kickass, stunning queen. But It’s just so frustrating to see you shoved in the spotlight, the dark spotlight, where all the creepy beady eyed people lurk.”

“You are speaking of your people.”

“I know, and they are creepy beady eyed people.”

I sighed. This is not the first time I’ve been in a bad situation. My whole existence in the mafia is a massive ‘bad situation’. It’s funny in a sense. Everyone is so hell bent on capturing me like I am a damn treasure, I am pretty flattered. Being needed is not something I’ve experienced growing up. I did feel it when I grew attached to flamingo, in fact, I still feel it whenever I am with him. It just comes so naturally with his friendly aura. But he is not always around as he used to be. So, I am more often left with my jammed brain that feels it’s necessary to remind me of how much I suck as a person. So yeah, life has always been a bit tough, but hey, I am still alive, and that’s a goddamn win.

“I probably missed a shit-ton days of work.”

“Mhm. I’ve been to the circus a few times while you slept. Your manager looked near combustion.”

“Pfft. I guess I better go now.”

“I’ll walk you there.”

We exited the room after I had eaten a decent meal. The building we were in was quite bizarre, with only Kirby’s room in the entire floor. There was no windows or furniture. The only colour was the dull yellow of the torn wallpaper. No, it is a disgrace to even call it yellow, it was more of an orangish brown, like a disgusting rusted metal that’s been abandoned for a decade. Bleurgh.

The walk to the circus tent wasn’t exactly long but babysitting a nearly 191cm excited puppy made a 10-minute walk turn into a 30-minute walk. He stopped every minute to tell jokes to passing children, bounced from one toy stand to another, jumped in glee whenever a bird flew by him, squealed at the sight of dogs, bought 5 things he would never use, and generally behaved like a child in wonderland. My throat became sour from yelling, and my cheeks felt overheated from embarrassment, yet I still felt happy somehow.

“I know the whole gang thing I said earlier came suddenly and out of nowhere, but I just wanted you to know so you can prepare and … because this might be the only time you see me before the war. Anyways, his majesty said that we will strike 2 years from now, so there is time. I know you are going to overthink and get yourself stuck in your own brain, but please make an effort to snap out of it Ichi, okay? Also, I really hope that next time I see you, you’ll be carried on your knight’s shoulder like a potato sack, it’s my dream.”

He left just as we neared the last turn to the desired destination, but not without a good punch to the face and a bone crushing hug. Feeling lighter, I strode to the private quarters, and just my luck, Luppi was standing right in front of my room with two fists digging in both sides of her hips. Great.

Her yells and shrieks is not worth mentioning because of how much boring and repetitive it is. Apparently, me being absent sent the trapeze team in a frenzy, they refused to perform because it is an unbalanced formation, so it got cancelled, and apparently Luppi was mad enough to cut out their meals until they were on the brink of death. I was irritated when she told me that, it made my situation a whole lot worse, they already hated me enough, and now they were going to hate me even more because I was the reason for their suffering and because I got away with what happened with a little of yelling -was a lot, but they deaf-. Fucking bitches, the only reason Luppi doesn’t physically hurt me in front of them is because she likes to make me be the target of their bullying and thus be hated by everyone to increase the chance of me collapsing from mental exhaustion. She says it’s a game, and that she likes to see how much emotions I can handle until I just drop, so there is that. I am pretty used to it though, so it doesn’t bother me as it always did. … I just hope nothing more interesting happen anytime soon, I am exhausted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AI robots freak me out.


	6. Cerulean hair

Friday 31st July, year 3 of hell

* * *

Here I am again, sitting on my wooden chair, hunching my aching back and pressing my pencil furiously on the paper trying to write as fast as I can before I forget what happened. July has been going forever hasn’t it? A lot had happened this month, a lot of entries. To be honest, after the incident a week or so ago, I felt kind of nervous as the days flew by without anything happening since then. The feeling of apprehension never left during these days, I felt that something will happen, someone will appear because July is when the _veil covering the abyss is lifted, and when the vile creatures are born_ , but that’s just a myth my mother came up with, perhaps to make me hate the month I was born in… no? No! I don’t think that was her intention, my mother is an angel, a sweet-sweet angel, she is a whole honeycomb, a milk chocolate bar, a sugary cake frosting, she would **_never_** do that to me, she would **_never_** make me hate myself, she would **_never_** , right? … **right?**

I close my eyes lost in a faraway fantasy. It’s a beautiful day, Sakura trees are shedding their last coat welcoming the winter and raining down droplets of pink and white blossoms. The clouds swirling in the sky as if they were in a cotton candy machine, each with their unique shape and form, a kitten, a bear, a flower, whatever your mind desire. The smell of freshly baked bread is wafting from the nearby bakery filling the air with the nostalgic aroma of a cosy home. No one is frowning, everyone is happy, at peace, and in a state of tranquillity. I feel a soft hand brushing through my unruly orange strands and making it way to my covered nape, the hand is soft, so soft that it reminds me of silk. The urge to turn around and look at the soft person overwhelms me, so I obey them and turn my head only to be met with a pair of mocha-coloured eyes and a warm smile painting the perfect picture of a happy mother and her child, so I smile too, albeit my smile is sad and full of mourning and grieve for my sullied heart. Suddenly, I feel myself being thrust to the background with a perfect view of the scene that I thought I was part of, the girl I impersonated have a neck-length black hair and brown eyes, she is smiling so hard that for a second I thought her dimples were surely engraved in her cheeks. _This is not reality_ , not my reality, I am not the girl, not that girl who gets all the love and attention from her mother. I am there, barely seen in the happy picture and almost fantastically hidden, I am that child at the back that only gets to stare at the picture from a distance _wishing_ , _hoping_ to be included. Opening my eyes, I sigh and slap myself multiple times for imagining myself in my sister’s place, putting myself in her shoes for just a few minutes, trying to feel what she felt, trying but failing as reality shook me awake, ruining what little happy imagination my mind came up with. Though I am an adult, my mind still is a child, playing tricks on me and reminding me that I still long for mother’s touch, _yearn_ her embrace. I am truly pathetic. Wholly, and utterly pathetic.

_My mother is nice. I love mother._ And finally, I smile again. I don’t know whether my mind is at it again, but I truly believe that I do love my mother, she tried her best, I **believe** in her, I **trust** her, I **forgive** her.

It’s funny how I completely forgot what I was doing.

..

I woke up this morning with an easy scowl for once because the circus finally closed its doors yesterday -more like curtains but who cares?- so I am finally back to my mundane routine that is filled with missions and tasks. My partner for this mission is Cirucci, because Luppi said that she can’t trust me with going out alone after the last incident. I sighed. Purple is not exactly the most horrible person in the circus, but she is not tolerable either. She gets on my nerves a lot with her annoying girly attitude, but that’s not the worst thing in the world, at least she is not Ryo who holler like a fucking siren every two minute. A click-clack could be heard clearly as it became louder and louder with each second, indicating that a high-heeled bitch is making her way to my room. Aubergine.

I opened my door to a surprised purple head. Looking down at her dress, I couldn’t hold back the exasperated groan. Honestly, what did I expect?

“Aww, a groan already?”

“Why are you wearing … this monstrosity?”

“What? It’s a georgette skirt and a lacy blouse, totally cute!”

“And heels with a sparkly horse and rainbows.”

“It’s a unicorn.”

“Sparkly horse.”

“Whatevs, I don’t see anything wrong with my outfit.”

“It’s fucking pink and white!”

“Rosy and off-white.”

“I don’t care. Its bright and frilly. You are going to attract a lot of attention.”

“But I love attention.”

“Fucking … -breathe Ichigo, breathe- do you want your clothes to get dirty? We are not going to a nice place anyways, there is sewers and stinky shit on the streets. All the attention you are going to get is from drunkards who will give you a 100 yen for a lay.”

“For real? A hundred?”

“Mhm, you don’t want their bemired hands to touch you, right? They will ruin your pulchritude.”

“I don’t understand what you are saying, but it sounds bad. I am going to change.”

Success!

It took a solid 40 minute for aubergine to choose something that is not sparkly, glittery, pink, white, or even remotely bright. She grumbled and made a fuss but in the end agreed to a black overall and heels that -thank god- did not have rainbow hair stuck at it sides.

Our mission was a simple one. Sneak into Hygge’s territory, plant some cameras in the 3rd division, perhaps -if we are lucky- get some extra information, and then get the fuck out. Straightforward, easy, and effortless. But that’s only if I was alone, purple will definitely prove to be a challenge that I must overcome. Sigh.

“You did read the file, right?”

“Uhm, sure!”

Sigh. Yep, a challenge indeed.

Finally reaching the outskirts of our territory, a few meters or so and we will be entering theirs. Taking a breath, I smiled and crossed their region confidently with the purple head trailing behind me. Though she looked just as confident, I could see the sweat on her forehead, but I couldn’t find it in myself to be mad about such thing, it was her first mission after all.

Another 20 or so minutes of walking and my companion is already huffing and complaining under her breath. Don’t get mad Ichigo, she is not a professional. Hold your yell of irritation and do it internally Ichigo. Honestly, she was lucky that all we encountered were a couple of curious civilians that promptly left us alone with such a simple lie of being new recruits and a whispered “ _Guardians do not live bowing down. They must die standing up_.” All they did was nod and give thumbs up before hurrying away. Purple never looked at me with such amazement before. She asked and blabbed about it until I finally told her that It’s a phrase I heard from a couple of Hygge members before getting killed by Luppi for ‘incapability of cooperating’.

“Aubergine-

“It’s mauve!”

“-their headquarters is nearby. I will sneak in and do my stuff while you hide somewhere outside.”

“And do what exactly?”

“Here. This laptop have a temporary access to the cameras of their base; all you have to do is delete any footage of me. Its just selecting and then pressing this button right here, easy.”

“Okay I got it.”

“And if anything weird or funny happens to the system no matter how trivial, then tell me via earpiece.”

“Alright.”

Trust is something that is very vital to any mission. You have to trust your partner to do their job while they trust you to do yours. It’s not the first time I worked with a partner, but it is the first time I am working with her. I am trusting her with this. She better not fuck it up and get us both killed.

..

So far everything has been going well. I avoided all the security guards and planted a few cameras on the areas that I memorised earlier from the mission’s file. I wasn’t done yet, apparently I have to plant a few more a bit deeper inside their base. At this point, it would be impossible to not encounter someone while I am at it. Sigh. I tugged at my hoodie and adjusted the black baseball cap atop of my head, taking a breath, I advanced deeper into the base with one thought in mind. “You are a member of Hygge.”

7 minutes in and there is nothing abnormal, just a few fleeting glances here and there. But no one talked to me or even questioned my sudden appearance. I smirked feeling triumph, my clothes fit very well with the Yakuza’s black theme. Now, all I need is to go just a little bit more, I need to reach the 3rd division which have the duty of intelligence and gathering information. This squad doesn’t really have a confirmed captain after the betrayal incident, so lieutenant Izuru actually stood up and acted as a substitute refusing to take the captaincy of his division. Seems easy enough.

Noticing the small zen garden a few steps away, I walked leisurely to the engawa and sat with my legs crossed and my eyes trained on the beautifully trimmed bushes.

“Aubergine, Locate a blonde dude with one blue sleepy eye and the other covered with his bang.”

I whispered.

“It mauve.”

She whispered back. Why is she even whispering?

“He is in the first room to your right writing on a paper. He looks really focused.”

Checking the map on my phone again, it turns out that it is the captain room. I stood up and approached a random girl walking on the hallway with a small stack of paper.

“H-Hi there, umm c-captain Unohana requested Kira-san. Can you p-please tell him? Umm I get f-flustered talking with guys. S-sorry.”

“I’ll tell him right away. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get used to it pretty soon.”

I returned to the garden after thanking her profusely and gagging internally.

“The blonde guy left.”

Aubergine informed. I smirked and made my way to the door, I entered after making sure that no one was nearby. Planting a camera and stealing some extra folders from the drawer was never too hard. Exiting the door, I retraced my steps and slowly got out of the deeper parts of their HQ. Sigh.

“I’ve never seen you before.”

Fuck. Fuck my life. Why does it have to be the dude with the most sticks up his ass?

“Young lady-”

Very polite. Intriguing. Sorry in advance. Not.

“Ah! How can you say that!”

“Excu-”

“You are a captain sir; you can’t just go and say that!”

“Wha-”

“Are you saying that I have to be a lady because I am short and have a thin figure?”

“I am no-”

“What? You are telling me that I have to dress more elaborately now!”

“I didn-”

“Just letting you know sir, I am a man, and I don’t appreciate you insinuating that I am a lady, this is really disgusting!”

“Wai-”

“A man can be thin and short too! You don’t get to choose what I am!”

The crowd that gathered around us agreed and started shouting out a piece of their mind creating a loud murmur, slipping out was easy after the havoc I wrecked after basically screaming at the now very confused noble.

“You scare me.”

Aubergine whispered.

..

20:36

We are finally back in our territory with the task successfully finished, with a bonus too. Huh, purple head surprisingly made a decent partner. I wouldn’t mind having her around for one or two more missions, easy ones, that requires nothing about dressing up a certain way.

“You lied to me about the whole sewers and dirty things! Everything was clean, and there were no drunk id-”

A loud shrill interrupted her, and I turned my head so fast that I felt disoriented for a second. I ran to the sound leaving purple alone on the street. The sight I stumbled on was very gruesome. A tall figure with a cerulean hair laughing boisterously at a man sitting on the ground bleeding heavily from his scarred face.

“Tha’s what ya get fucker! Ya think ya can sneak on me huh! Too bad I dun know how ta torture someone without killing them with the first move. You’re lucky!”

“Stab him above his pelvis a little offset from his spine deep enough to pierce his kidney, then slice upward to his ribcage quickly. It will leave him paralyzed, unable to breath, and in severe pain.”

They both turned their attention to me. The blue haired guy with a fascinated expression, and the bleeding dude with a horrified one. I smirked and advanced to blue sticking my hand out in a casual greeting, he shook my hand sporting a bloody grin with sharp teeth.

“Zangetsu.”

“Pantera.”

“Sorry, I am nosy, I couldn’t help but get fascinated by such a pain filled scream.”

“Nah I’s cool. You a torturer or somethin’?”

“Nope, never killed before. I just used to read about this stuff.”

“On how to kill?”

“ _On how to become a doctor._ ”

“Damn. I am guessing you don’t want to be that anymore.”

“Yep.”

“Then, how about joining me?”

“I am already in Malefic.”

“That’s obvious enough, dipshit.”

“..”

“Be my **premier** , Zangetsu.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya is a confused pikachu. Also, Ichi gets to meet the cerulean beast!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to check this out!


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